"Dorothy was a dedicated and gifted performer. She approached
each role with insightful determination to seek out all the lifeful
and growthful possibilities that a character proposed. As a note to
herself on her role as Justine in "L'Economiste", she wrote " Justine's
character: la balance navigue entre l'ombre et la lumiere." Balance
navigates between shade and light. It was a line in the play, not
Justine's, but it aptly summed up Justine's alchemical, consciously
catalystic role in the play. In some ways this role did mirror Dorothy's
own role in life. She herself could move between her generous, joyful
self to a shadier being of dark anxieties, angers and lack of confidence.
Her abundant intelligence saw her through the bleak moments. She was
jealous of Vivienne who had begun a physical relationship with Roy,
some months prior to our own, and she suffered on this account, more
in the early days than later when our relationship began to mature.
The way in which she "navigated" through these pitfalls was with the
help of performance and wise application. I include the following
transcription from one of her rehearsal tapes for the performance
"And" which shows the process in action.
"Friends, sacrifice, suffering, conscious spontaneity, joy, Constance,
Dorothy. My name is Dorothy Hart, I stand here containing 46 years
of experience of my own particular incarnation. I am with you, I am
going to continue to pray. I can see from some of your faces that
you feel the cold shock of words. I feel it too and I know this is
necessary. My illusions are shattered and scattered, rebirth is a
cold shock.
Usually at this point in the performance, I rediscover myself in sound,
I sing. I give myself what we call a singing lesson. I discover my
body, singing. Tonight the spirit has dictated otherwise. Singing,
in the Roy Hart Theatre, is a special word which carries 47 years
of accrued meaning. It includes what I'm doing now, speaking, with
words. It is a form of prayer, summoning the whole body, not only
on Sundays or maybe 10 minutes to an hour each day, but if possible,
every minute, every second. Summoning the body to concentrate on evaluating,
on making balanced values. This is singing. To be true to myself tonight
I need to speak with words. We live in a verbal world. I am a verbal
person by inclination, or I have become more so. These words we use,
the way in which we speak them, with differing intensities of bodily
involvement. Honesty. The way we use words really concerns me, us.
Last night I lay awake for many hours wrestling to embody in my own
experience the meaning of certain words, so common, yet so individual.
They contain peace and dynamite, diffidence and passion. I would like
you to share with me tonight while I sing, or pray, concentrating
on these few powerful words. Singing or prayer intention, I love you,
living art, husband, wife, lover....................."
The transcription of the tape finishes here because the tape finishes
here also. Whether this tape was ever played to anyone, I will never
know. I have included an extract of it on the accompanying CD. It
is an intimate statement but one which I feel conveys something of
the essence and depth of Dorothy. On the CD, I have linked this statement
to an extract of Dorothy giving herself a singing lesson with the
words "I love my body" as she did in
performance.
On a lighter note, I include Dorothy's introduction to "Blue Moon"
transposed from a recording of her concert, at the Abraxas Club, London,
in late 1974. The tape was made for her mother, Constance Findlay
(note the name from the text above). The song itself can be heard
on the CD. "I think the reason why I enjoyed performing the whole
cabaret so much was because it was the first time that I actually
sang and acted a part into the singing at the same time. And I think,
visually a great deal more was going on there than you can hear from
the sound track alone. The audiences' response definitely contributed
to the whole personality of that lovely evening. Anyway it was great
fun. So I thought you might like to have a copy of it, which I send
to you with love from me. I have a picture printed by Rousseau of
a Pierrot and a Pierrette coming out of some winter woods of leafless
trees. High in the night sky, there is this beautiful moon. It hangs
there in the deep blue of the night sky. The two young lovers are
obviously running away together, running into their future together.
This picture has been on my bedroom wall all the time since we lived
at the Ridgeway. I never get tired of looking at it. I still have
it in my new room now we are in Lambolle Place. I looked around me
and then I realised that all the pictures that I have in my room in
Lambolle Place, they all have a moon in them and that therefore I'm
very, very fond of the moon and all that it signifies of fairy stories
and romance. So I had this picture put on the wall at the back of
the theatre as scenery for my performance because the song that I
sing next is called "Blue Moon". It is
one of my very, very favourite tunes because it symbolises all the
romance contained in life and my everlasting belief in the reality
of fairy stories."